Life Isn't Always Fair

So Ben had his urologist appointment this past week. He does NOT have verogacile. The Dr said everything looked good and the only thing he could think was that there is something between the brain and testicles that aren't connecting and doing their job. He did however give him Clomid to take every other day. He said it could take a few months for numbers to rise but it was worth a shot. 

We also had set up an appointment with the lady who does genetic probing at NFC in early August, but after the phone call I just got, we will be canceling. I got a return call from the IVF Financing department trying to get a close to exact price and an idea of any payment plans. So with our genetic probing (this will give us the best chance of no miscarriages and a perfect embreyo) and the IVF cycle (ONE cycle), the cost is $16,050. With all the medicine I will have to take to make sure that the pregnancy becomes viable, it will be right at about $19,500. For a baby. $19,500. Oh, and NO payment plans. We can't afford this. Not even close. We still owe $19,700 on my student loans. 

So that is my stab in the heart for the day. We just want to have a child. A part of both of us, combined into one. We want to do all the things everyone around us is getting the chance to do with their families. But we hit this wall, and we have hit it hard. God will find us a way through, we just have to be silent, wait and listen. No matter how hard it's going to be. We just have to. I guess we've just learned that Life Isn't Always Fair. 

Please just keep us in your prayers. At this price, it is probably going to be a few years before we can even attempt to get the ball rolling on this. Pray that we find strength and patience through this process. Pray that we don't turn our backs on each other or blame the other for this. Pray that we become closer and understand each other more. 

Thanks so much :)