Children too are a gift from the LORD, The fruit of the womb, A reward. – Psalm 127:3

Friday, October 18, 2013

May I Carry Your Child?

I have always wanted to have children, for as long as I can remember. Ben and I have finally succeeded, and have a beautiful little girl. We are so thankful to God, modern science, and family. Without them, we never would have gotten the experience of a lifetime.

With that being said, we have decided to move on to a new chapter in our life. Although we hope to have one more child, we are putting our family growth on hold, to hopefully bring life and blessings to another couple, who cannot conceive on their own, or carry a pregnancy to term. We're talking about Surrogacy! I have opted to be a Gestational Surrogate, which is where I carry the couples embryo, so the child will have no blood relation to me. I will be going through the entire IVF process again. The company we have picked to work with is based in Chicago, so for 3 appointments I will have to travel there,  and I will be close enough (within an hour) to visit with my grandparents and other family members, which is great! I have answered the pre-qualifying questionnaire, and been contacted by an advocate, who is in the process of getting together and sending me paperwork and more information packets. I still need to lose another 50 lbs (or very close to that) to begin the process or actually starting injections and doing the transfer, but knowing that I am a great canidate motivates me even more to lose faster than I currently am. (hey-51 lbs to date is a FANTASTIC acheivement!) 

The process is sort of like adoption, from what I have heard about it. Ben and I will chose a couple who we find interesting and want to help out, based on their life book they make. We learn about who they are, what they do, how long they have tried to conceive, and other things like that! At some point, we will meet the couple, and they then decide if they want to work with us. Once we have been paired with a couple, the process begins! All of my appointments after the transfer will be here in Nashville with my OB and birth will be at my hospital. 

Some may ask why we want to do this. Why would we want to go through an entire pregnancy and give a baby to someone. Why would we want to put ourself through a tough and emotional situation. Well, why wouldn't we? We personally know what it is like to not be able to have a child on our own, to try and try, and never get those 2 pink lines on that test. We know the heart break month after month when my menstrual cycle starts. We want to give others the joy we got on August 16, 2012. The joy of life in their arms. A piece of them that will grow up and go into the world and make it their own. We want to make another couple's dream come true of having their own child. 

I know it will be emotionally the hardest thing I have ever done, to go 9 months carrying a child that isn't going home with me (or 2-that is a possibility, as well is triplets, which they can then choose to terminate one), but I have such a strong support system, that I am willing to take this chance.

For now, this all I have to share. There are tons of thoughts going through my head. My heart pounds when I think about the, hopefully near, future and what it entails. But I am so very excited in the next chapter of our life. I truly believe I was meant to do this. I believe God planned on us having to go through our own IVF cycle, so that I would decide that surrogacy is what I wanted to do with my life.

I am asking for prayers for us. Pray that I safely lose the rest of this weight, that we find the right family for us, that Ben and I continue to have a strong, loving relationship through the process, that we have a healthy pregnancy when the time comes, and that the potential family takes home their little blessing(s) one day. I apologize if this sounds like a bunch of rambling, but I wanted to share.

Callie is 1 already!

So, our sweet girl turned 1 on August 16. Words cannot explain how happy and sad I was that day. I was so happy to see how much Callie had grown and learned in what felt like a short amount of time, but I was so sad at how fast the year had blown by. In a year, she learned how to
*sit up on her own
*roll from back to belly and back again
*walk (by 9 months!!)
*eat on her own
*say momma, dada, hi and nana
*blow kisses
*hug your neck
*help put stuff away or in the trash
*bring you a certain item you asked for, such as her baby or sippy cup
*point to her nose, eyes and stick out her tongue

I am sure that there are many other things she learned along the way, but  I won't type everything out! We could be here all day! She had 8 teeth by age 1 (and 4 molars by 13 months old), and she has yet to get a hair cut. I love her little ringlet curls and can't make myself cut them off! Not even just a trim!

I cant say enough how blessed I am to be this little girls mom. She makes me realize that nothing else in the world matters, except love. And I love her more than anything. I catch myself smiling at her throughout the day, for no reason, other than the fact that she is a part of me, living and learning and exploring all the things around her. She looks at the world, and daddy and I, in amazement, and warms our soul. I thank God for her daily. She has made me a better person! 

I can't wait to see where she is at age 2-it will be here before you know it! I am super excited for her to start talking in sentences, playing tag, doing fun crafts together, and playing dress up! Fun times are coming our way!! 

Until next time.... (which could be a while, as my last post was in Feb-but hey, we've sold a house and moved since then, so it's ok! We've been busy living life)

Here are a few photos from this year. Follow me on instagram for daily photos! brittanie_hocker :)