Children too are a gift from the LORD, The fruit of the womb, A reward. – Psalm 127:3

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Finances and Waiting. Hmmm

So, not too much has happened since my last post. I had my blood work done 2 weeks ago almost and was told that everything looked perfect....great hormone levels, no chromosome problems, etc. But we did get some bummer mail. Ben's blood work cost $1510. Insurance only covered $100.96 bringing out total to $1414.04!!! WHAT?!?! Yea that's what I said. That's a lot of money for some blood work. So I called the lab about a possible discount (never hurts to try) or a repayment plan, and they said there is no help but they did have a 5 month payment plan. Basically you just pay what you can every month. After 5 months if you aren't paid in full, you start another 5 month repayment plan. That's better than having to pay in full by August 9th!! HOWEVER, there is assistance available based on income. And currently we make too much money for anything. I did get the paper to fill out just to try for help, and it has a section to write any extra details on why you need help, so this is great! Maybe explaining to them about what we pay each month in student loans will help them see that we really can't afford it. What makes it even worse is that I had the exact same blood work, so we are expecting another $1414 bill in the next month. So I hope this goes in our favor. If not, God will be there to provide us with a way of affording this. 
We have our Genetic Probing appointment August 10th, to discuss all the details, then we are done with Dr Hill until we save up the money for a round of IVF. Until then, we will just keep practicing ;) Practice makes perfect, right?!?!
This is how I feel currently!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

*Insert Title Here*

Let me tell you, this trying to have a child thing is so stressful. That and my job. I have sadly gained 13 lbs the last 2 months. And let me tell you---I am NOT happy. I worked my butt off to lose the 58lbs I got to and now I gained. But what do I do when I am stressed and depressed? I eat. Out of pure boredom and the fact that it's comforting. So I have got to get out of this slump and get back down to those 13 lbs and pass it up. I can and will do it.
We also have decided to wait for #IVF treatments. We plan on paying off what Dr bills we have accumulated to date, then paying off student loans as fast as possible as well as save as much as we can towards the IVF. Of course, we'd love to just get pregnant on our own (which we will continue trying) and not have to spend all that money, but whatever it takes. We (I more than Ben), and learning to be more patient and let God be in control. There isn't anything I can do about the situation except go with it. God has a plan for us all, even before we were born. And I need to let it happen how He wants :) Don't let me fool you into thinking I am perfectly ok with waiting at least another 3 years to pay for IVF, but let me tell you I am slowly accepting that fact. A little more everyday, especially when I look at our finances. 
Until then, like I have said before, I have my beautiful little niece to enjoy and a husband who I couldn't be happier with. We are coming up on our 3rd wedding anniversary, and these have been amazing alone, so what's another possible 3 the same way? God will make it happen when it's time!

Friday, July 08, 2011

Life Isn't Always Fair

So Ben had his urologist appointment this past week. He does NOT have verogacile. The Dr said everything looked good and the only thing he could think was that there is something between the brain and testicles that aren't connecting and doing their job. He did however give him Clomid to take every other day. He said it could take a few months for numbers to rise but it was worth a shot. 
We also had set up an appointment with the lady who does genetic probing at NFC in early August, but after the phone call I just got, we will be canceling. I got a return call from the IVF Financing department trying to get a close to exact price and an idea of any payment plans. So with our genetic probing (this will give us the best chance of no miscarriages and a perfect embreyo) and the IVF cycle (ONE cycle), the cost is $16,050. With all the medicine I will have to take to make sure that the pregnancy becomes viable, it will be right at about $19,500. For a baby. $19,500. Oh, and NO payment plans. We can't afford this. Not even close. We still owe $19,700 on my student loans. 
So that is my stab in the heart for the day. We just want to have a child. A part of both of us, combined into one. We want to do all the things everyone around us is getting the chance to do with their families. But we hit this wall, and we have hit it hard. God will find us a way through, we just have to be silent, wait and listen. No matter how hard it's going to be. We just have to. I guess we've just learned that Life Isn't Always Fair. 
Please just keep us in your prayers. At this price, it is probably going to be a few years before we can even attempt to get the ball rolling on this. Pray that we find strength and patience through this process. Pray that we don't turn our backs on each other or blame the other for this. Pray that we become closer and understand each other more. 
Thanks so much :)

Monday, July 04, 2011

Translocated Chromosomes and a Diet Dr Pepper Anyone?

Sorry it's taken me so long to write about our recent Dr's appointment. Seem's there is never enough time in the day or week even. But I am super glad when it's over, that's for sure! 
First off, it was super nice to sleep in that morning, even though it was only for about another hour. Every little bit helps! Got up, got a shower, got all pretty (and of course, I got my work clothes together since I had to go in after. But it's always nice to fix my hair!) and headed to Mickey D's. Yea, I know it's not good for my diet. BUT I was nervous and hungry. And I needed my caffeine! So I got myself a sausage cheese biscuit and a Large Diet Dr Pepper. Yum! We get down to the Clinic, and there was only 2 other people there, much different from the first trip we made there. We finally got into the room, and Dr Hill came in and shook our hand, blah, blah, blah. 
Basically he told us the same thing that he mentioned the day of my HSG test. All of Ben's hormone levels were perfectly normal, he just had a chromosomal abnormality. There are about 6 different things that could include.  
Might I add that we saw Dr. Hill for 6 minutes and it costs us $110?!?! I'm going to become a Dr!!! Ha :)
Ben has Trans-located Chromo's, hence the title. His number 4 and number 12 Chromosomes has switch. So he doesn't have too many, or too little. Dr Hill said what this meant for us is a 50% chance of miscarriage each time we conceive. The other 50% would be split: 25% of the time, we could have a baby with perfect chromosomes and the other 25% would have chromosomes like Ben. So our best chance for a child will be Genetic Probing (where they find the perfect embryo and implant it in my uterus). This will cost about an additional $4,000 on top of the $12-$15,000 for the IVF treatment alone. But we would have a 70% or higher chance of the transfer actually working and resulting in a healthy pregnancy. 
BUT we are going to hold off on all of this genetic testing and such, until Ben's urologist appointment 7/6/11. We believe that he has Varicocele.
His father had this medical problem and after having it taken care of, they conceived in 3 months....3 months!!!! How awesome would that be?!?!? So we are crossing our fingers that this is what our problem is, that we can get it fixed and be on our happy way to making a family!!! 
So this is the latest update for you. Sorry if I rambled, I am sure I did. Hope everyone has had a wonderful 4th of July...I had to work, so I am tired! 
Thank You to all our troops! God Bless!!!!