Teething SUCKS!

The title says it all! This past week has been horrible. Our sweet baby girl has not been herself. Both of her bottom teeth are coming in, and for the past week, sleep-Well, what is that?! She refused to sleep anywhere other than right next to Momma, and she would toss and turn all night, waking multiple times (sometimes being up for an hour or more). Of course, Mom and Dad were exhausted, but we are her parents and we are dedicated to doing anything and everything that will make her happy. We tried Tylenol, cold teethers, teething tablets, ice cubes. All that good stuff.
Then of course, Tuesday she got her shots (16lbs 7oz and 26.5 in long!) and that made her feel even worse. She ended up with a fever for 2.5 days. It got up to 101.7, then came back down, resulting in a happier baby with a runny nose. She has never had bad reaction to shots, so I felt awful for her. I am happy to say, that last night she slept through the entire night (9:30-4:45, nursed then back to bed until 8am!). I am so glad that Callie is back to her normal self! Our smiling, laughing, rotten little girl <3

6 Months has come and Gone...

Callie turned 6 months old this past Saturday, and along with it came her two bottom front teeth, a baby who can sit up all on her own now, and less sleep. Where has the time gone? It feels like just yesterday that I woke up and my water was leaking. I am dying a little on the inside each day as I watch her grow and learn new things. I want her to stay my little girl forever! It gives me baby fever-I long to hold a brand new baby again, to see what they look like after 9 long months of not knowing, to snuggle and sleep the day away with them. All of it. But then again, I don't want to go through labor again, or those first few weeks of crazy bleeding and almost no sleep at all. I don't want to miss out on all the fun with Callie either.
So for now, I will spend my days singing, laughing, watching cartoons, kissing toes and cheeks, making messes with food and just loving our baby girl. She will be in kindergarten in the blink of an eye!

Who Am I?

I told you it's hard to get on and blog with a baby! I think the last I did this was September!

Needless to say, I think I have become a not so fun person to be around since then. I am mean to Ben-yelling and calling names when I get frustrated after a long, trying day. I am not doing so hot at holding my temper either. I don't want Callie to hear me now, much less when she gets older and can remember.

I also am rather demanding of him when he gets home. Take out the trash or put the laundry up that I did that day...I ask, but usually it's a few times then I get mean and yell at him. I think it's because I'm stuck in the house  most of the day. I only talk to the baby, clean, cook, watch some tv, and take care of the baby more. On occasion I run errands, grocery shop and go to any appointments we may have.

I don't have many friends here-most of them work full time and have no kids, so I don't have many to who can relate to me. I don't really get much sleep, and if I do, it's in a few hour increments, so I never get that deep sleep that I need. IM in desperate need of a girls night, some laughs and to be carefree. I need a massage to release all the stress I have. I need my husband to be more helpful when he comes home and realize that it's a part of being an adult.

I am also feeling like a failure because we have been supplementing with formula lately. Callie would nurse then scream like she was starving. Nothing worked..we burped her, belly massage, playing, new diaper, gripe water, gas drops, trying to get her to sleep...anything. Formula fixed it. I still tried to nurse often. She does great through the night, no bottles needed. So I bough lactation cookies, tried fenugreek, pumping, and now I am taking Reglan to help stimulate my milk glands to make more. We have cut the formula in half. She was getting 8 to 12 oz a day on top of nursing(always after nursing, 4 oz max at a time). Now she gets 3-2oz bottles a day. And I'm trying to pump immediately after she nurses, but she is very demanding of me at this point. Maybe that's a 5 month old ting that happens. And maybe that's why she cries so much more these days? A growth spurt at 5 months. And teething? I'm not sure, but I really wanted to breast feed her until 1 year, and I'm down in the dumps we are wasting money on formula all bc I can't keep my supply up. Ugh. I'm going to try and see my lactation consultant from birth next week.

I'm also packing on the pounds. I'm about 15 pounds less than what I was the day I had Callie. And I actually got down 16 pounds less than I am now before Thanksgiving. I guess with all the stress and anger I've had lately, I've just been stuffing my face. I feel lonely, I stuff my face...ugh. Why cant I have skinny jeans in my DNA?!

Don't take any of this as me saying I wish I never had Callie, because that is far from the truth. Callie is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and my life. And so is Ben. I love them more than anything. I am just stressing myself out over stupid little things and I need to stop that. I need to be healthy for us all. And love myself.

Ok well enough with my rant. I need to go to sleep-she has been out for an hour. Remember this....

Adjusting To Life As A Mom

Things have been so crazy since the birth of Callie, that I don't have time to get on here and write! I haven't even finished the last book of the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy that I started 2.5 weeks before she was born..And she is 5 weeks old!!! I can't believe it-5 weeks old. Oh how time is flying by!

I am quite impressed with myself and how easily I have adapted to doing things one handed. I can cook (I don't usually cook with her...usually just fix a sandwich or marinate something if needed-I try to wait to cook until Dad is home for safety reasons), eat, do laundry, take the dog out and even get on the computer if I need to. Dad hasn't quite mastered how to do things one handed-so he doesn't really help me much when he gets home other than to hold Callie while I do what I couldn't during the day. Sometimes she is very fussy and only wants to be held, which I don't mind, unless I have some things I need to do. But they can wait...she is only little once and I want to enjoy her, fussy or not :)

She sleeps fairly well-on average she sleeps in 3 hours stretches at night. Last night was actually the first night we tried to get her to sleep in her crib. (This was actually 3 nights ago now...shows you how long it takes me to actually complete something I start!) All alone in her own room..away from me. I was pretty nervous that I wouldn't hear her over the monitor if I fell asleep, so I woke up often to make sure I didn't miss her crying. Around 4am I was so tired that I brought her to bed with us for that feeding so we could just snuggle up together and go to sleep with Dad.

I am trying to adjust to it not just being Ben and I. I miss our relationship before Callie was born, however, I wouldn't trade it for a thing. I miss just being able to do what we want at any time-quick runs to the store, to see our friends, just snuggling up in bed together with no interruptions. It's a lot harder now to keep our relationship where it needs to be, talking to each other on a daily basis, and just enjoying each other with he everyday stresses of being new parents. But everyday we are getting better and better :)

Overall-being a Mom isn't as hard as I thought it would be at times, but I do get frustrated on rare occasion, and that's when it is hard. I just take a breathe and go from there. That's all I can do.

Time for A New Blog

Well, we have had an eventful past 2 weeks, to say the least. We are now a very happy family of 3, 4 counting our dog! Let me update you on everything to birth, then I plan to start a new blog, mostly to remind me of all the things Callie does, later in life.

The morning after I lost my mucus plus, I woke up to pee and noticed I was leaking fluid. I hadn't peed myself, because I had just went 2 hours before. I had bloody streaked discharge as well. So I called the on call Dr and he said since I wasn't having consistent contractions, to stay home and wait until they were closer. I decided to call my nurse once the office opened just to get a second opinion. They sent me to Triage since my water was leaking just to get monitored. They were worried that the baby could suffocate if I leaked too much fluid. So Cynthia, Ben's mother, got here about 11:30 and we headed to the hospital (I vacuumed and did some other last minute cleaning as well as got a long hot shower while she drove here) Ben met us there(he was working) and we got signed in. After the million and one questions they ask you, they check my cervix and I had dilated to 4 and 80% effaced. that was 2cm and 20%more than 2 days prior at my OB checkup!! But I wasn't super hopeful bc I still wasn't feeling any contractions.

At 4:30, I was between 4 & 5 cm dilated. Contractions were getting stronger, but nothing I couldn't handle, or still feel for the most part. So after the nurse spoke with the Dr, they said I could either stay or go home and wait. We decided to stay. After admitting me to labor and delivery and switching me to my room, I had to sit forever on IV fluids and having my Bp checked. The plan was to let me go natural as I wanted. If by midnight I hadn't progressed anymore, they would break my water and start Pitocin. At 9;30, I wasn't making any progress and the pain was to the point I was crying-So I went ahead and got the epidural and Dr Moran came in to break my water at 9:45pm. Ben had went to eat dinner with his Father and Brother, so he missed this process, which made me cry even more. I took an hour nap after he returned and they came to start Pitocin at 12:30am. I was dilate to 6 and 85-90% effaced. I took another nap around 2-not feeling the contractions let me relax much more and I'm glad I got it. At 6:15 am, it was time to push..I missed 3 contractions of pushing, I needed to get a good breath...But at 7:23am, Callie Rae Hocker made her first appearance into the world. She weighed 7lbs10oz, 19.5 inches long and had a head full of dark hair!! We couldn't be more excited!!

Here are some photos of her first few days, going home and meeting our furbaby, Millie. I look a hot mess...So just look at her :)

The epidural let me enjoy the majority of labor!

Last photo of us, as a family of 2

She is here!!!

So happy my baby girl is here!!

Family of 3...We are in LOVE!

Momma's very first kiss

First time Daddy held Callie

Trying to feed her...Nana was a great supporter

Proud Nana (Ben's mom)

Daddy was exhausted. He didn't sleep for 2 days straight!

Proud Papa (Ben's Dad)

Meeting Uncle Jonny (Ben's Brother)

Getting her vitals checked...She wasn't happy about it!

All cleaned up and fixing to snuggle with Momma

Ready to go home for the first time!!!

Welcome Home Callie Rae! We've been waiting!!

Millie meeting Callie....She wanted to lick her face a lot!

So excited to meet her baby sister!!

 

 

Meeting AnJerika for the first time (Her cousin)

First time meeting MiMi (My Mom)

Millie was so curious!

First sponge bath at home...loves getting her hair washed

But she HATES getting her body washed!

She loves her swing :)

Such a cutie!

She is perfect! I couldn't be more in love!

Daddy is already wrapped around her little finger!

First time in the stroller for a walk around the neighborhood

Talk About Nervous(Somewhat of a TMI post)

Callie is usually a fairly active baby anywhere from say, 11pm-2am. That's when daddy lays is hand on my belly and feels her crazy movement, what he calls at time, her drum rolls.Well, Sunday night, she just wasn't moving. The last movement we remember/felt was around 7:30 while we were eating dinner at BDubs. At first I thought she might just be tired, but after a bit, it started to worry us more. Ben got me a bottle of cold water-nothing. I swapped to my other side...nothing. So I started to shake my belly around...and we got nothing. That made us super nervous, especially after all the things we went through to get to where we are today. I remember feeling a few random "pushes" through the night but still to her usual movement. So Monday I called my nurse and was sent for an ultrasound. Callie looked fantastic. She is an estimated 7lbs12oz, heart rate of 170(this has been her highest by 2bmp). I was a bit low on amniotic fluid-7cm-but Dr Wingo said that is was the low side of still being ok. I gained 8lbs in 6 days, and also had more than just trace amounts of protein in my urine. No change in dilation or effacement, but a slightly higher BP than normal for me, so they ordered some blood work. I was told not to eat or drink for the next 2 hours, or until I got my results back. Thankfully all came back well. I was told to call at any sign of dizziness, headache, blurred vision or to go to triage if after hours.
Tuesday morning I woke up, did a small trip to the grocery, came home, did a load of laundry, had some cereal and watched tv, but I was feeling nauseous on and off. So after eating lunch, I called Beth to let her know and she said to head to triage to get checked out. So I called Ben, he picked me up, and we checked in. I was on the monitor for about 2 hours, we loved hearing Callie for so long! My BP went down some, still a tad high for me, but it was normal and no reason for us to worry. So they sent me home. At about 9:30 pm I went pee, to find that I had lost a huge chunk(or shall I say 3 chunks) of mucus plug. Of course that doesn't mean labor is in the next 24 hours, but it is soon at least. As of now, I go for another ultrasound Thursday at 1, the OB after. Monday I will go back to the OB to discuss induction if Callie doesn't make her appearance before then.
So here is to continued good luck and a healthy pregnancy...We can't wait to meet Callie...and everything we go through is totally worth it!!!

Update since I started this post last night...I woke up to pee around 6:30 and my panties were pretty wet. But not enough to wet the mattress...So my water is leaking! I wiped and there was pinkish discharge.I called the on call Dr since I wasn't having contractions and he said all is normal, but to wait to come in until my contractions were consistent. So I changed panties and not 5 minutes later, they were wet again, so I got a pad, went pee and wiped--more discharge but with tiny streaks of blood. Then in the toilet, there were 2 or 3 dark red clots, what I assume was just old bloody chunks of mucus plug. My nurse will be in the office at 9, so I will call to discuss it with her. But seems like she will be here by her due date. I am super nervous and excited. So to keep me busy, I'm going to vacuum downstairs, and maybe put up the clean dishes. If contractions get consistent and painful, I may hop in the hot shower. Update later :)

38 and 39 weeks

I didn't write a blog post last week about my checkup, so I hope I can remember everything! This pregnancy brain thing is no joke! 

Let's see...Instead of gaining weight...I LOST 5 lbs of fluid! That was great news!! I was so afraid of something being wrong and putting on 6+lbs again. Callie's heart rate was 150...She was down pretty low the Dr said. I was dilated almost to 2, but not quit, so we will say 1.5 lol. Thinned still at 60%(no change from the week before) I was told I had a lot of fluid around the baby, which is fine. He would rather me have more than not enough. 

At my 39 week checkup, I only gained 1 lb...There was a heart rate of 141, and I had no change in dilation or thinning. I asked if he could sweep my membranes...He couldn't reach, so Beth, my nurse, said she will try at next weeks appointment (Dr Wingo will be out of the office). The earliest I will be induced is August 21st(13 days away) if Callie doesn't decide to come on her own...I don't want to wait that much longer, so I hope she comes lol.

I haven't lost my mucus plug, that I have been aware of. I haven't really had any contractions...I have back pain, pains in my lower belly...but nothing that I think is major. Sleep has become impossible...but it's been like that for a while. Not much longer though...that is nice to know she will be here soon!